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I’m almost 25

Oh My Good Lord, I’m almost 25… I’m almost ¼ of a century old. As strange as that thought is, I find myself torn between two extremes. On one hand, I’m happy that I’m getting older, I feel more mature and sure of myself, of what I want out of life and of how to get it. I know I’ve changed from high school and I like who I have become, I even appreciate all the shit that I’ve been through to get to this point. Yet, on the other hand, I feel so lost, like I have so much stuff that I’ve been trying to do and not accomplished. I mean, look at the evidence… I’m single, happily so, yet I feel like maybe I haven’t put in as much effort into that part of my life as I should have. I have friends who are married and have kids… me, hell, I’ve had my face in books the last 12 years of my life just trying to get where I want to go eventually. I traded off that part of my life for my future…and I can’t help but wonder if I lost out on some really great guys by worrying about myself. Then again, I feel as if one has to be a little selfish every once in a while (and I don’t regret my selfishness, especially since it’s going to help me in the long run). You know what’s funny, when I started this I expected there to be a lot more than that bothering me about turning 25, but really that’s about it. I just feel a little behind in the “marriage mart”…but that’s not all that bad. I think I’ll find someone who will be able to love me for me, it may take a while and probably will mean a lot of compromise, but since I’m being selfish, I don’t see myself giving anyone that opportunity right now ^_~.  And knowing that somehow makes it all the better. Right now, at this exact moment, I’m rather excited to be turning 25 because life is what you make it, and so far, I think I’ve done a pretty good job making it fun, meaningful and technically, I’ve got myself a pretty good beginning to an epic story. So here’s to another 25 years of me being me and enjoying all that life has to offer me.

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